


Reset

by Rubber Chicken With A Keyboard (RCWAK)



Category: Homestuck
Genre: AU, Canon Divergence, How Do I Tag, It's kind of like the ending of Jumanji but more complicated, Mentions of Blood, Post-Game, The Game's Real Ending Kinda Sucks, on hiatus for the moment sorry, other tags TBA, shipping takes a backseat to plot, some pesterlogs, still sorry though, well more like 'updating really slowly'
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-08-08
Updated: 2016-12-24
Packaged: 2018-08-07 13:07:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,680
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7715971
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RCWAK/pseuds/Rubber%20Chicken%20With%20A%20Keyboard
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When the game ends, all pieces reset to the beginning of the game. But rather than erase a sweep and a half, and potentially let all the original events happen all over again, something must be changed. Time must pass. Friends and enemies cannot meet. Shit cannot go down.<br/><br/><i>"Oi, Captor!" you hear the rustblood shout. "Got a visitor kid, says 'e knows you. You know 'im?"</i><br/><i>After a few more seconds of footsteps and background chatter, a pair of familiar orbs glowing red and blue appear at the slot in the door. Your friend's eyes glare at you from the darkness, a dim bicolored light washing over your face outside. He sneers and narrows his eyes.</i><br/><i>"Who the fuck are you?"</i><br/><i>Oh hell no.</i></p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Wake

**Author's Note:**

> Well, this is my first multi-chapter Homestuck story, and my first actual work on this site, so here goes!

You shift your weight from foot to foot on the front step, flinching as a scuttlebuggy swoops along the street behind you, honking incessantly. This has to be it. You've only been here once before, but the towering form of the upper floors and distinct little hexagon print on the doormat are both unmistakeable.

You are Karkat Vantas, and you are trying to find your friend. To the best of your admittedly shitty knowledge, he lives in this impossibly tall hivestem, and with any of your equally shitty luck, he might be home.

If they didn't have a million better things to do than watch some raggedy anon-blooded troll hanging around the entrance to a psionic-run hivestem as if expecting someone to answer, some of the passers by might notice that you are shaking more than fidgeting. You would tell them they are most definitely wrong. You are fucking fearless here, with no doubt as to your hatefriend's integrity or whether he even remembers you exist. Or, at least that's what you tell yourself.

You've considered a lot of fucked up scenarios in your day, but none were quite like this.

After a moment, you summon up your nerve and knock. And by knock, you mean bang on the door like you've got drones on your tail and let out a screechy 'Anyone home?!' that would make your lusus blush with pride.

Several seconds pass before a section of the door slides open with a sharp scraping sound.

"Password," barks the squinty rustblood peering through the narrow slot.

Oh, fuck. You didn't have to give a password last time -- Sollux had for once been bothered to answered the door himself -- and you had yet to spontaneously develop any telepathic ability that would let you access the password from anyone's head.

"Look, asshole, I don't have your goddamn password. I know someone here. Sollux Captor? He lives here!"

An awkward pause leaves you both silent as the rustblood's eyes sweep over you with utmost suspicion. "Liar. Captor's an ass with no friends. Now fuck off."

"Listen, I know him, you slurry-slurping shithead! He's a douche who cloisters himself in his impossibly cramped hive division on the top floor of this godforsaken hivestem, because apparently he has nothing better to do than writing line after line of the incomprehensible fucking drivel known as ~ATH and fucking with noobs who are either so bad at coding they don't deserve his attention or whom he just decided to fuck with for shits and giggles."

Finally, she takes a step back, not particularly impressed with your tirade. She rolls her eyes. "Ugh, whatever. Wait 'ere."

After you shoot her one last glare that you hope looks more threatening than it does immature, she heads back deeper into the hivestem itself. You step closer to the door to listen better.

"Oi, Captor!" you hear her shout. "Got a visitor kid, says 'e knows you. You know 'im?"

A familiar voice responds with a baffled "Who?" and your pump biscuit skips a beat. After a few more seconds of footsteps and background chatter, a pair of familiar orbs glowing red and blue appear at the slot in the door. Your friend's eyes glare at you from the darkness, a dim bicolored light washing over your face outside. He sneers and narrows his eyes.

"Who the fuck are you?"

Oh hell no.

 

=========================================================================

 

You woke up late in the evening, practically midnight. The stars shone through the fog of pollution, and dim moonlight filtered through your block's thick glass windows.

The first thing you heard was your lusus, clicking and rattling at you from a distant corner. You slowly rose out of the 'coon like a crusty-eyed leviathan from the depths, grumbling and groping for a handhold on the outer rim of the opening. Crabdad looked up to see you slipping off the outside carapace of the 'coon, and promptly rushed over to help. He was undeterred by your half-hearted cursing, and even pointed to your time-tracking display atop a storage structure when you made noise along the lines of 'What time is it?' instead of screeching at you.

Well, technically he still screeched at you, but helpfully.

The tiny numerals of the time-tracking display on your open husktop swam before your eyes, but you got the gist of it. Late.

The message alert tone for trollian pinged at you, and you opened up the chat window before you even registered the chat handle. 

 

gallowsCalibrator [GC] began trolling carcinoGeneticist [CG]

GC: K4RK4T  
GC: H3Y  
GC: 4R3 YOU 3V3N R34D1NG TH1S?  
GC: 1 DON'T KNOW WH4T'S GO1NG ON.  
GC: W3'R3 4LL HOM3?  
GC: 1'M ST1LL WORK1NG ON F1GUR1NG 1T OUT.  
GC: 1F YOU KNOW 4NYTHING, TROLL M3 B4CK.

gallowsCalibrator [GC] is now idle

CG: HEY  
CG: WAIT, WHAt the fuck>  
CG: *WHAT THE FUCK?

Your fingers are clumsy on the keys of your old husktop (it's smaller than you remembered), but you type out your message well enough. After a typo or two.

CG: DON'T YOU DARE JUST DROP A CRYPTIC MESSAGE ABOUT THIS BULLSHIT AND THEN GO IDLE LIKE THAT!  
CG: I WILL *NOT* BE DELIVERING MY FRUSTRATED RANTS TO THE AUTOMATED ANSWERING DEVICE  
CG: OR WHATEVER VIRTUAL EQUIVALENT TROLLIAN POSSESSES!  
CG: THESE RANTS ARE NOT THROWAWAY AMORPHOUS BLOBS OF ANGRY YELLING; THEY ARE MY WAY OF MAKING A FUCKING POINT, AND THEY WILL NOT BE IGNORED AND DISREGARDED LIKE FRESH BLOBS OF SHIT DISAPPEARING DOWN THE LOAD GAPER AS SOON AS I'VE FINISHED EXTRUDING THEM!  
CG: YOU WILL TAKE A CLOSER LOOK AND TRULY EXAMINE THE SHITS.  
CG: YOU WILL READ THEM AND MEMORIZE THEIR EVERY SMEARY CURVE AND DISGUSTING WRINKLE, EVERY SUSPICIOUS VEGETATIVE-LOOKING LUMP AND EXTRANEOUS SQUIGGLY TAIL.  
CG: THESE SHITS TOOK A LOT OF WORK TO PUSH OUT MY HEAVING ASS, AND YOU WILL DAMN WELL PAY ATTENTION TO THEM.  
CG: DO YOU EVEN KNOW HOW MUCH WORK WENT INTO THEM?   
CG: THESE DON'T COME NATURALLY TO MOST TROLLS, YOU KNOW.

gallowsCalibrator [GC] is no longer idle

GC: 3W  
GC: R34LLY, K4RK4T?  
GC: 1 D1D NOT N33D TO KNOW TH3 D3T41LS OF YOUR BOW3L MOV3M3NTS.  
GC: 4LSO, YOU SOUND L1K3 D4V3.  
CG: WHATEVER.  
CG: WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU TALKING ABOUT EARLIER?  
CG: BEFORE YOU WENT IDLE, I MEAN.  
GC: W3LL, H3LLO? M4YB3 YOU H4V3N'T NOT1C3D, BUT W3'R3 NOT 3X4CTLY 1N TH3 G4M3 4NYMOR3.  
GC: YOU'R3 1N YOUR OWN H1V3 R1GHT NOW, 4R3N'T YOU?  
GC: 1'M F41RLY C3RT41N 4S 1S, BUT MY S33R POW3RS 4R3... FUZZY 4T TH3 MOM3NT.  
GC: SOM3TH1NG, 4S YOU JUST M1GHT H4V3 4LR34DY G4TH3R3D, 1S V3RY WRONG.  
CG: YEAH.  
CG: WAIT, WHAT?  
GC: H3R3 W3 GO.  
CG: SHIT.  
CG: SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIIIT  
CG: WHAT THE FUCK.  
CG: WHAT ARE WE EVEN DOING HERE?!  
CG: HOW DID  
CG: WHAT IN THE GRUBSHITING DAWNSEARED FUCK IS GOING ON WITH THIS PIECE OF SHIT GAME?  
CG: I THOUGHT WE WON!  
CG: WE FUCKING WON!  
GC: 4444ND TH3R3.  
GC: TH3R3 L13S TH3 PROBL3M.  
CG: WHAT, ANOTHER ONE?  
GC: Y3S.  
GC: WH1CH 1S TH4444T...  
GC: 1 H4V3 NO FUCK1NG 1D34 WH4T'S GO1NG ON 31TH3R.  
GC: 1 4LR34DY S3NT TH3 S4M3 M3SSAGES 1 S3NT YOU TO 3V3RYON3 3LS3, 4ND 1'V3 GOTT3N B4S1C4LLY J4CK SH1T.  
GC: NO ON3 WHO SURV1V3D TH3 M3T3OR ORD34LS H4S R3SPOND3D B4CK, 3XC3PT FOR YOU.  
GC: 4ND 4LSO K4N4Y4, 4S OF 4BOUT N1N3TY FOUR S3CONDS 4GO, BUT 1T'S 4LL K3YBO4RD M4SH1NG.  
CG: WELL *THAT'S* REASSURING.  
GC: 1 4LSO GOT 4N 4NSW3R FROM VR1SK4, BUT SH3 BARELY SEEMS TO KNOW WH4T 1'M T4LK1NG 4BOUT.  
GC: 4T 4LL.  
GC: 1'V3 GOTT3N NOTH1NG FROM N3P3T4.  
GC: SOLLUX K33PS BLOCK1NG M3, 4ND T4VROS JUST TH1NKS 1'M SOM3 DM D1SCUSS1NG 4 N3W ROL3PL4Y PROMPT 4ND K33PS S4Y1NG H3'S NOT 1NT3R3ST3D.  
GC: NON3 OF TH3M W3R3 1N MY L1ST OF CONT4CTS -- 1 H4D TO CONT4CT TH3M M4NU4LLY.  
GC: 4LSO, 1 C4N S33 4G41N.  
GC: YOU?  
CG: I LITERALLY JUST WOKE UP, AND THIS IS WHAT YOU'RE ASKING ME?  
GC: >:?  
CG: NO.  
GC: >:O  
CG: THE ANSWER IS A GIANT FUCKING NO.  
CG: AND ALSO WHAT DO YOU MEAN THEY DIDN'T KNOW WHAT YOU WERE TALKING ABOUT. AND ALSO, YOU CAN SEE AGAIN NOW?  
GC: 1 M34N TH3Y D1DN'T KNOW!  
GC: 1T'S L1K3 ON3 OF THOS3 HORR1BLY CONTR1V3D 4ND 1N4CCUR4T3 PLOTS 1N T3L3V1S1ON SHOWS 4BOUT 4MN3S14  
GC: 3XC3PT 1N R34L1TY, 4ND 1'M TH3 ONLY ON3 WHO R3M3MB3RS.  
GC: B3S1DES YOU, 1 GU3SS?  
GC: THOUGH 1 H4V3N'T H34RD FROM 3V3RYBODY Y3T.  
GC: NON3 OF TH3M S33M TO R3M3MB3R TH3 G4M3 4T 4LL.  
GC: TH3Y DON'T 3V3N KNOW 34CH OTH3R!  
GC: WH1CH, 1N H1NDS1GHT, PROB4BLY 3XPL41NS WHY 1'M NOT BL1ND.  
GC: TH4T W4S VR1SK4'S DO1NG, 4FT3R 4LL.  
GC: NOT TH4T 1 SHOULD H4V3 TO R3M1ND YOU.  
CG: HOLY SHIT.  
CG: THIS IS IT. WE HAVE TRULY BEGUN SCRATCHING BENEATH THE SURFACE OF THE GREAT BARRIER HOLDING BACK THE DEPTHS OF TRUE STUPIDITY IN ALL ITS HORROR.  
CG: ALL WE NEED NOW ARE A COUPLE OF EGBERTS IN FULL DERP MODE AND HIGH ON SOPOR SLIME, AND WE MAY EVEN FURTHER OUR EXPEDITION IN THE SPONGELESS, AGONIZING EXPANSE OF THE IDIOT ZONE.  
GC: WOULD YOU QU1T TH3 M3LODR4M4T1CS!  
GC: TH1S 1S S3R1OUS.  
CG: I AM BEING SERIOUS. THIS IS MY WAY OF BEING COMPLETELY FUCKING SERIOUS! DO YOU SEE THIS FACE! THIS IS A SERIOUS FUCKING FACE!

Growling to yourself, you yanked the strip of tape of your husktop's camera lens and snapped a quick picture of your face. The wave of embarrassment at your own childishness that swept across your cheeks in a warm, bright red rush afterwards did little to sway your furious intent.

carcinoGeneticist uploaded image 'SERIOUS_FUCKING_FACE.jpg'

CG: SO THERE.  
GC: UH  
GC: K4RK4T  
CG: WHAT?  
CG: ARE YOU QUESTIONING MY COMPLETELY SERIOUS AND ONLY PARTIALLY ENRAGED EXPRESSION?  
GC: NO  
GC: 1T'S  
GC: YOUR 3Y3S  
GC: TH3Y'R3...  
GC: D3L1C1OUS!  
CG: WHAT.

You shoved away from your desk, panicking. Oh shit. Oh shit. You'd known your eyes would eventually turn as you grew older, but by the time you'd gotten onto the meteor and actually started waiting for it to happen, it didn't really matter anymore. Assuming you were really back on Alternia, you'd just slipped on an exotic fruit peel into a serious pile of hoofbeast manure.

CG: HOW BAD IS IT?  
GC: S33 FOR YOURS3LF

The file sat there on your desktop, beckoning. You glanced around, checking for anyone watching (as if any spy worth their salt would be so easily spotted, or actually bother with spying on you), and opened it up.

Fuck.

Your eyes weren't just coming in to their color like in adolescence. They were dangerous, bright red, filled in to form a thick crimson ring around your pupils. You tried not to cringe. You were going to have to do something about that.

Thankfully, the rest of you hadn't changed much. You looked a bit older, but not by more than half a sweep from what you remember.

It said something about your situation that half a sweep of spontaneous aging barely even fazed you, but with all the weird time shit and memory problems going on, you honestly didn't care.

CG: OKAY. SHIT.  
CG: I'M PROBABLY GOING TO NEED GLASSES OR SOMETHING, AREN'T I?  
CG: DON'T YOU DARE LAUGHT IF I SHOW UP AT YOUR PLACE IN A PAIR OF FUCK-UGLY GOGGLES, THOUGH.  
CG: GIVEN THAT I CAN'T ACTUALLY GO ANYWHERE TO GET DECENT EYEWEAR UNTIL I HAVE SOMETHING TO HIDE MY EYES TO BEGIN WITH.  
GC: 1 WOULD N3V3R DR34M OF 1T.  
CG: OKAY.  
CG: GOOD.  
CG: IN THAT CASE... I'LL BE OVER SOON, I GUESS.  
GC: 4CTU4LLY, 1F YOU'R3 GO1NG 4NYWH3R3, 1 SUGG3ST YOU TRY TO CONT4CT ON3 OF OUR 4WOL COPL4Y3RS F1RST.  
GC: W3 KNOW W3'R3 4LL W3LL 4ND D4NDY... 1SH  
GC: BUT 1 DON'T 3V3N KNOW WH3R3 H4LF OF YOU GUYS L1V3!  
GC: 4T TH3 V3RY L34ST, GO CH3CK 1N ON SOLLUX OR SOM3TH1NG.  
GC: YOU KN3W WH3R3 H3 L1V3S, R1GHT?  
GC: 4SSUM1NG TH4T H4SN'T CH4NGED, TOO.  
CG: UGH, FINE. I'LL STOP BY HIS PLACE IF I CAN FIND IT.  
CG: THEN I'LL COME TO YOU.  
GC: OK4Y  
GC: TH4T WORKS.  
GC: 1 TH1NK.  
GC: W41T, SH1T.  
GC: 1 JUST H34RD SOM3ON3 OUTS1DE.  
GC: B3 B4CK 1N 4 MOM3NT.  
GC: 4LSO, B3W4R3 OF SURPR1S3S 1N YOUR ROOM.  
GC: 1'V3 H4D 4 F3W OF MY OWN.  
GC: NOT PR3TTY.

gallowsCalibrator [GC] ceased trolling  carcinoGeneticist [CG]

CG: WHAT?  
CG: HELLO?  
CG: FUCK.

You looked around your room, noting the layer of dust over the rest of your device support plateau. The posters plastered on your walls were faded and peeling. You could see Troll Will Smith's face curling in on itself, and another poster hung in two pieces with a massive rip down the middle.

The little details all quickly erased themselves from your mind to make room for the numerous dried bloodstains on the floor. 

You knelt down to take a closer look, and just as quickly stood up again to escape the stench. You didn't remember seeing adult trolls in films ever recoiling from the smell of blood, but the scent of the colorful splatters was enough to make you stomach churn. You didn't even know whose it was.

Holy shit, had you done that? You remembered nothing about the Karkat who lived in this hive, presumably for the last two sweeps, but you could tell already that none of the blood was yours. Your floor was stained several different shades of rusts, greens and tealy-blues, including at least a few streaks of what looked like purple. What the fuck had you been doing?

You looked at your own hands, noticing how weird they were now. None of the scars you got from fighting imps had been preserved, but they'd been replaced with a scattering of new marks you couldn't name the origins of. Some of them were still new, scabbed over.

After a moment, you found your eyes drawn to a pair of black gloves on the desk. They were the only thing besides your husktop not coated in dust, and you saw marks in the fake beast-hide to match other-Karkat's scars. Maybe that was how he'd hidden his blood when he got hurt?

You decided the put on the gloves, just for safety's sake, and got dressed the rest of the way. Other-Karkat's wardrobe hadn't changed much from yours, and you were glad to see the same comforting grays dominating your clothes as usual. After much deliberation over how to cover your eyes, you added a pair of stupid looking gray-tinted goggles you suspected you owned for just that purpose.

As you approached the door, Crabdad clicked at you, anxious. You brushed him off. As freaky as your bedroom was, you had more important shit to do.

You had a nerd to find. 

=========================================================================

Sollux Captor, formerly your best friend, stares at you through the slot in the door. "Well, athhole?" he adds.

"Sollux, it's me, goddammit," you begin. "Karkat? Your hatefriend? The asshole who's been sending you terrible code and yelling at you over trollian for the last four sweeps of your worthless life?!"

He snorts. "Nope. Not ringing a bell, dude."

Your face twists into a snarl. "Oh, come on. We've known each other since schoolfeeding started! For fuck's sake, we're hatefriends, and you are not going to just quit and forget me so easily now, you shitmunching dweeb! You know who I am! You coded the fucking game! You know how it works to the tiniest goddamn detail, and you are not going to just pretend like you totally didn't see this steaming pile of bullshit coming! Of all the people to forget the basic shit of who they fucking are, I can not fucking believe that that dumbass could possibly end up being you!"

"Wow. Dramatic much?" His expression has barely changed since you last looked. He smirks, eyeing your bared teeth and grayed-out symbol. His eyes narrow at the latter.

"Wait a thec." His eyes (inscrutable as they are) don't seem to move from your chest. You mostly get a sense of where he's looking from where the vibrant psionic glow is concentrated the most, combined with some practice at figuring this out in your months interacting face-to-face in SGRUB.

You don't answer. You already know your shit is fucked. Sollux whispers to the rustblood girl, and you catch a few words -- "maybe" and "old acquaintance" and--

Wait. Old acquaintance?

The bolt on the door slides in the open position with a loud click, and you can hear the tiny parts rattling as someone unlocks the door.

"C'mon then," the rustblood says. She pulls back the door, gesturing for you to enter. You hesitate for a moment, then step inside, and she shuts in behind you.

The hivestem's bottom floor is packed with trolls of all ages from barely past their first pupation to nearly conscription age. All of them seem to know each other, and all of them are clearly psionics. Few of them acknowledge you, and fewer seem to care. They're all too busy chatting amongst themselves. You see a midnight meal laid out on one of the tables near the back, with an impressive spread of grubsauce and noodles. Someone actually went to the trouble of cooking those, and judging by the number of trolls crowding around the table, it's probably pretty good.

Your own food-sack growls a bit at the sight of warmed slices of grubloaf on the side table, but you say nothing. Can't risk mouthing off like an ignorant sack of bulges as usual and jinxing it.

Sollux leads you up to a door deeper inside, pulling you along. He almost has to drag you away from the food, but you fight the urge to help yourself to the delicious grubsauce-coated noodles and follow him.

The door does not lead to his block. It leads to a tiny, cramped space that looks like it would be best used for winter garment storage. You're about to ask if this is some kind of joke when he grabs you and shoves you inside. He may be a wimp, but you're too off-guard, and you think he used his psionics to help. Cheater. The door slams shut, leaving the two of you in what is, in fact, a winter garment storage. Something clicks shut, and it sounds an awful lot like a lock.

It's too dark to see much, and all you can make out is the bar of light bleeding in from under the door, and the bright twinned glow of Sollux's eyes.

"Alright, dipsthit," he hisses. "Tell me why you're really here."


	2. Garment Storage

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Husktops explode. Memos begin. Sollux starts to figure things out.

You would say you saw this coming, but embarrassingly enough, you really didn't. Some part of you was still being stupidly hopeful, and now you're stuck. In a winter garment storage. With your former friend, who is now an amnesiac or something dumb like that.

You'd like to think he let you in because he recognized you. Or at least, that would be a start.

"What do you mean?" you snarl back. "I came to find my friend. _You_."

"M-hmm. Thhhhure you did." You flinch at the spray of spittle, and he glares at you again. More than before, at least. You return the favor. "Yes, dumbass! _We're. Fucking. Friends_."

"I don't remember ever fucking you," Sollux snarks. You growl at him, and he continues.

"I, for one, haven't the thlightetht fucking idea what you're talking about," he tells you. "But I do know one thing, and it'th that anyone who wearth a heretical thymbol in plain thight hath got to be either crathy, dumb, or have a very good reathon behind it." At those words, any hope of him remembering you is flung screaming from the metaphorical window, flailing and breaking its skull on the unforgiving walkway material below.

Sollux shoves you again, and holds you tight against the wall with a bright crackle of light. The dancing sparks illuminate his face with eerie shadows in the dark space, and he grins.

"Tho. Which one ith it?"

You groan. "The last one. It's my symbol. Which you don't remember."

"Wait, what?" He looks puzzled, then smirks. " _Pleathe_ do not tell me you're going to thtart on thome random conthpirathy theory here. Not that they're all total musclebeast sthit, but I get enough of that from my neighborth."

"It's complicated." You mentally scramble for a way to explain in anything resembling a timely fashion. You thinkpan, as usual, is as ornery as you are and refuses to comply.

"I..." You try to say something, but it doesn't quite come out. "I... It's a long story. I was the guy who tried to contact you, by the way. Carcinogeneticist? Yeah, I probably should've lead with that. Past me is a dumbass, news at eleven."

"Well then?" He looks at you expectantly.

"You're actually going to hear me out?"

Your eyes have adjusted enough to the dim light to catch a shrug from him. "Not if you keep athking dumb quethtionth, but yeah. I kinda want to thee how far thith bullsthit thpiel ith gonna go."

Bullshit spiel? You'll show him whose spiel is bullshit! You force down a rising stream of complaints and insults, though, and eventually manage to speak without screaming. For now. 

"Okay, okay," you rasp. "I... fine. Long story short, we played this big shitty game. And you kinda died a couple times -- well, we all did, but we came back because of bullshit game mechanics and stuff. We had this mess with a bunch of weird pan-damaged aliens and created a universe, and after whole bunch of annoying fuckups with the gall to call themselves adventures, I'm fairly sure we won. Except something went wrong -- again. And the prize -- well, if the game was shitty, then the prize was the even shittier little preserved arboreal fruit sitting all sacchharine and terrible-tasting on top."

You pause to gesture to the two of you. "This was the result. We reset to pre-game conditions, and aged up a bunch. Well, half a sweep. Technically two sweeps, but we already spent a sweep and a half in game, so..."

A snicker interrupts your explanation. You glance back at Sollux to see him hiding a hideously toothy grin. "Oh, don't you even start. I am not lowering myself to your degenerate sense of humor. This is not a fucking 'laughing matter', do you hear me?"

"You thure you're not a cultitht or thomething?"

Ugh.

"I told you, it's a long fucking story."

"Yeah, yeah."

 

===========================================================================

 

carcinoGeneticist [CG] began trolling  twinArmageddons [TA]

CG: HEY  
CG: CAPTOR  
CG: ARE YOU GETTING THIS?  
CG: HELLO?  
CG: GOD FUCKING DAMMIT, ANSWER ME YOU INCOMPETENT JAR OF MOULDY GRUB SHIT.  
TA: holy 2hiit  
CG: OH THANK GOD  
CG: LISTEN  
TA: what do we have here?  
CG: LOOK, IT'S ME. COME ON.  
TA: an amateur cyber2talker appeared!  
CG: OH FOR FUCK'S SAKE, I AM NOT GOING THROUGH THIS WITH YOU.  
TA: wow fuck off  
CG: NO, I WILL NOT FUCK OFF!  
CG: WHAT THE HELL?  
CG: DO YOU EVEN KNOW WHO I AM, OR ARE YOU JUST SHITTING ME FOR NO GOOD REASON HERE?  
CG: I WOULDN'T BE SURPRISED BY THE LATTER IN THE SLIGHTEST.  
TA: "oop2"

twinArmageddons [TA] blocked carcinoGeneticist [CG]

carcinoGeneticist2 [CG] began trolling twinArmageddons [TA]

CG: LOOK WHAT YOU'VE MADE ME DO.  
CG: I'VE BEEN FORCE TO RESORT TO A FUCKING ALT ACCOUNT.  
CG: OH, THE TRAGEDY.  
CG: ...  
CG: THAT WAS THE SOUND OF ME PAUSING FOR TERRIBLY-PERFORMED DRAMATIC EFFECT.  
CG: .....  
CG: .......  
CG: WOULD YOU JUST RESPOND AND TELL ME IF YOU'RE OKAY?  
CG: I  
CG: SERIOUSLY  
CG: I'M SORRY ABOUT THE INSULTS  
CG: I THOUGHT YOU DIDN'T CARE  
CG: JUST GIVE ME A STRAIGHT ANSWER FOR ONCE...  
CG:  
CG: ...YOU WORTHLESS PILE OF INSECTOID EXCREMENT!  
CG: HELLO?

twinArmageddons [TA] uploaded file stalkerbait.~ath

CG: OH FUCK ME

carcinoGeneticist [CG] 's husktop has exploded

TA: ehehe

You got kicked off the group transportation buggy after your husktop detonated in the aisle, startling several other passengers and, in the words of the driver, "Jusst causssing a great deal of unnesssesssary trouble."

Nobody present had any doubt the husktop was yours, mostly because you'd thrown it on the floor in with a loud screech of terror shortly before the explosion. It was only a short walk to Sollux's hive, but as you walked you pulled out your backup crabtop (it seemed even alt-Karkat appreciated Jade's wisdom about multiple devices) and began pestering Terezi.

carcinoGeneticist [CG] began trolling gallowsCalibrator [GC] 

CG: TEREZI  
CG: WE MAY HAVE A PROBLEM.  
GC: WH4T?  
CG: ONLY THAT SOLLUX IS BEING A COY, OBTUSE FUCK TODAY, AND JUST BLEW UP MY HUSKTOP.  
GC: WH4T 4R3 YOU M3SS4G1NG M3 ON TH3N?  
CG: BACKUP.  
CG: IT MIGHT NOT BE MUCH, BUT I GUESS OTHER KARKAT WAS SENSIBLE ENOUGH TO KEEP AT LEAST ONE CRABTOP IN HIS POCKETS AT ALL TIMES.  
CG: I MEAN, I DON'T KNOW IF HE LEFT ANY OTHER BACKUP DEVICES, BUT ONE IS GOOD, RIGHT?  
GC: OK4Y  
GC: NON3 OF TH4T 1S P4RT1CUL4RLY SUPR1S1NG  
GC: 1'V3 B33N CORR3SPOND1NG W1TH K4N4Y4 FOR TH3 L4ST F3W M1NUT3S NOW, 4ND SH3 R3M3MB3RS, TOO.  
GC: 1T F33LS L1K3 4 P4TT3RN.  
GC: 4LL TH3 P3OPL3 WHO DON'T R3M3MB3R W3R3 D34D  
CG: WAIT, WHAT?  
CG: BUT WHAT ABOUT VRISKA?  
GC: W3LL  
GC: SH3 W4SN'T T3CHN1C4LLY D34D  
GC: OR 4T L34ST NOT BY SGRUB'S ST4ND4RDS  
GC: BUT R3M3MB3R TH3 WHOL3 R3TCON TH1NG?  
CG: YOU MEAN THE PART WHERE JOHN DIED AND THEN CAME BACK OUT OF BUTTFUCK NOWHERE-LAND TO FIX EVERYTHING?  
GC: Y34H, TH4T.  
GC: OUR VR1SK4 W4S 4L1V3, BUT PR3-R3TCON VR1SK4 D13D.  
GC: M4YB3, B3C4US3 SH3 T3CHN1C4LLY D13D 1N TH3 OLD T1M3L1N3, SH3'S B31NG COUNT3D 4S P4RT14LLY D34D OR SOM3TH1NG FOR TH3 PURPOS3S OF TH1S 3ND1NG.  
CG: YEAH. MAYBE?  
CG: LIKE ANY OF US UNDERSTAND WHAT'S GOING ON HERE.  
CG: I MEAN, WHAT'S EVEN WITH ALL THIS?  
CG: TALK ABOUT A SHITTY TWIST.  
GC: PL34S3, DON'T 3V3N ST4RT.  
CG: SO  
CG: WHAT WAS GOING ON EARLIER?  
CG: WHEN YOU SAID YOU HAD TO GO, AND ALL THAT?  
GC: K4N4Y4  
CG: WHAT DO YOU MEAN, 'KANAYA'?  
GC: 1'LL 3XPL41N L4T3R.

gallowsCalibrator [GC] ceased trolling  carcinoGeneticist [CG]

CG: WAIT  
CG: BUT  
CG: WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN!?

 

===========================================================================

 

"You've gone into a lot of detail for thuch a ridiculouth thtory," Sollux comments.

You've spent the past few minutes rambling, but you think he's gotten the gist of it by now. The game, knowing each other, shitty twist, yadda yadda yadda, someone-please-cull-me-before-I-make-even-more-of-a-fool-of-myself, blah blah blah. He seems skeptic at best, but that's just what you've seen. Maybe it's just your own pan-addling sentimentality talking, but there's a funny look to him, a little glint of recognition when you give names and details. The biggest moment was when you mentioned Aradia, and he paused for half a second in startled silence, eyes flickering. He didn't say anything, though.

"Alright, you know what?" you rasp. "I don't give that many shits right now. A couple, since you're my friend -- or were, I guess -- but we have stuff to do. You're coming with me, whether you remember or not."

"And what ekthactly do you plan to do to about it?" He looks amused more than anything.

"I plan to take you the fuck with me!"

"Wow, puthhy."

"Deal with it."

"How can I pooothhibly cope?" He almost smiles, then hastily restores his look of deadpan frustration. You feel a glimmer of unrequited hope nonetheless. You might be getting through to him after all.

Sollux starts to make a better comeback when the telltale ping of a trollian alert breaks up the conversation. He pulls a beetlephone from his pocket, fumbling in the dark and cursing under his breath. He hold the device in one hand, then sets it down in midair, letting it float in an aura of pulsing red-blue light. You can't read the screen from your side of the garment storage, but the text looks like a memo. The two primary colors, dark jade green and bright teal, flood the screen with illegible words.

Several minutes pass in silence. With little way to keep track of the time, you guess it takes around five minutes for him to remember you're still there.

He looks at you differently now.

"Well," he mutters. "Fuck."

===========================================================================

gallowsCalibrator [GC] opened a memo on board 4WKW4RD POST-G4M3 R3UN1ONS

GC: 4LR1GHT  
GC: W3 N33D TO T4LK  
GC: W3 4LL N33D TO T4LK

grimAuxiliatrix [GA] joined the memo

GA: Yes  
GA: If Anyone Else Out There Remembers The Events Of The Game Their Contributions To This Discussion Would Be Very Much Appreciated  
GA: Terezi  
GA: Do You Know If There Is Any Way To Invite Specific People To Participate In Memos  
GA: And If So Do You Think That Would Be A Good Idea  
GA: Assuming That The Others Have Kept Their Existing Chat Handles I Mean  
GC: 1 TH1NK SO  
GC: L3T M3 CH3CK  
GA: Good  
GA: In The Meantime I Was Wondering What Exactly Should Be Discussed Here  
GA: I Mean   
GA: I Suppose We Could  
GA: Compare Notes Or Some Such Activity  
GA: As One Does When Faced With Mass Phenomena Of This Sort  
GA: Does One Do That Actually  
GA: Im Not Sure But A Fair Number Of Films And The Like Often Portray Their Protagonists Doing No Such Thing  
GA: Instead They Tend To Simply Act  
GA: With Minimal Discussion Or Comparison Involved  
GA: This Seems Impractical Though  
GA: Terezi  
GA: Terezi  
GA: I Am Tempted To Add A Few Bafflement Curlicues After Your Name But Am Not Sure If The Situation Yet Calls For It  
GC: WHOOPS  
GA: Oh Thank Goodness  
GA: I Was Beginning To Wonder What Had Happened To You  
GC: 1 GU3SS 1T TOOK 4 WH1L3 TO F1ND TH3 1NV1T4T1ON TUTOR14L  
GC: TO B3 HON3ST 1 W4S H4LF 3XP3CT1NG SOM3 P4ST OR FUTUR3 S3LF TO COM3 G1V3 4DV1C3  
GC: NOT TH4T TH4T'S 3V3R H4PP3N3D 1N 4NY M3MOS 1 KNOW OF S1NC3 TH3 G4M3 3ND3D  
GA: Actually Come To Think Of It I Havent Seen The Trans Timeline Function Appear At All Either  
GA: Perhaps This Version Doesnt Have It  
GC: M4YB3?  
GC: 1T STOPP3D SP3C1FY1NG P4ST/CURR3NT/ FUTUR3 V3RS1ONS, SO PROB4BLY.  
GA: Anyway  
GA: About The Invitations  
GC: R1GHT

gallowsCalibrator [GC] invited apocalypseArisen [AA] to the memo

gallowsCalibrator [GC] invited arachnidsGrip [AG] to the memo

gallowsCalibrator [GC] invited  terminallyCapricious [TC] to the memo

gallowsCalibrator [GC] invited  twinArmageddons [TA] to the memo

gallowsCalibrator [GC]invited carcinoGeneticist [CG] to the memo

GC: SP34K1NG OF THOS3 L4ST TWO, 1 WOND3R HOW K4RK4T'S DO1NG?  
GA: Alright I Hope  
GA: What Do You Mean Those Two  
GC: 1 S3NT K4RK4T TO CH3CK UP ON SOLLUX.  
GA: To See If He Remembered You Mean  
GC: Y34H  
GC: TH3 DOUBL3 D34TH TH1NG 1S K1ND OF 4 W1LD C4RD W1TH MY TH3ORY.  
GC: 4LSO, 1F H3 DO3S R3M3MB3R, W3'R3 PROB4BLY ONLY F1ND1NG OUT 1N P3RSON.  
GC: H3 K33PS BLOCK1NG M3. >:[  
GC: 4NYW4Y, NOW W3 JUST H4V3 TO W41T FOR TH3M TO SHOW UP.  
GA: Arent You Missing Someone  
GA: Well Actually Several Someones  
GC: WHO?  
GA: You Know  
GA: Everyone Else  
GC: 1 DON'T TH1NK TH3Y R3M3MB3R  
GA: Have You Contacted All Of Them To Check  
GC: MOST OF TH3M  
GA: Only Most Of Them  
GA: Is This Related To Your Theory  
GC: TH3R3'S 4 P4TT3RN  
GC: 1 TH1NK  
GA: You Think  
GC: UGH, WH4T TH3 H3CK.

gallowsCalibrator [GC]  invited adiosToreador [AT] to the memo

gallowsCalibrator [GC]  invited arsenicCatnip [AC] to the memo

gallowsCalibrator [GC]  invited  centaursTesticle [CT]  to the memo

gallowsCalibrator [GC]  invited caligulasAquarium [CA] to the memo

gallowsCalibrator [GC]  invited cuttlefishCuller [CC] to the memo

GC: TH3R3.

twinArmageddons [TA] joined the memo

TA: okay what the fuck ii2 goiing on here  
GA: Oh Hello There  
GC: H1 SOLLUX  
GC: LOOKS L1K3 YOU'V3 D3C1D3D TO JO1N US 4FT3R 4LL  
TA: what no  
TA: look iim only re2pondiing becau2e ii want two know what the hell thii2 ii2  
GC: W3LL, 1N C4S3 YOU COULDN'T WORK 1T OUT...  
GC: 1S K4RKL3S W1TH YOU Y3T?  
TA: who  
GC: K4RK4T  
GC: SHORT, NUBBY HORNS, SHOUTS 4 LOT?  
TA: you mean the guy who ju2t triied to get iinto my hiive2tem wiith a forbiiden 2ymbol on hii2 2hiirt iin plaiin 2iight?  
GC: Y3P! TH4T'S TH3 ON3.  
TA: okay  
TA: ye2 he2 here  
TA: meaniing?  
GC: DO YOU R3M3MB3R OR NOT?  
TA: what the fuck ii2 iit wiith you people and 'rememberiing'  
TA: what do you even mean  
GC: K4RK4T 3XPL41N3D, D1DN'T H3?  
TA: you have got to be fuckiing kiiddiing me  
TA: very funny  
TA: you got me wiith your overly elaborate prank  
TA: now go home  
GC: NO, 1T'S NOT 4 PR4NK.  
GC: JUST TH1NK 4BOUT 1T.  
GC: W4SN'T WH4T K4RK4T S41D 4T L34ST SOM3WH4T F4M1L14R?  
GC: 3V3N 1F 1T W4S ON SOM3 D33P3R L3V3L YOU COULDN'T QU1T3 M4K3 S3NS3 OF?  
GC: YOU W3R3 ONLY H4LF D34D 4FT3R 4LL!

apocalypseArisen [AA] has joined the memo

AA: hi everyone  
AA: sorry i was out for a while  
GA: Hello To You As Well  
AA: hi kanaya!  
AA: i only just caught up with all this  
AA: not everyone remembers or something?  
GC: PR3TTY MUCH.  
AA: okay  
AA: oh hi sollux  
AA: nice to see you remember at least  
AA: well, i hope you do anyway  
AA: <>  
TA: <>  
TA: waiit...  
TA: what  
TA: the  
TA: 2HIIT

===========================================================================

Sollux unlocks the closet and stands in the hallway, looked you over in uncomfortable silence. After a moment, he groans and puts his face in his hands. "Right," he says, mostly to himself. "I know you. Or I'm supposed to." You aren't sure what to say in response, so you just nod.

He looks back to you. "Karkat, huh?" You nod again. It may have only been a few seconds, but you are growing incredibly fucking sick of uncomfortable silence and nods.

You glance over to the table. It looks like the meal is over, but there are still a few plates of warm leftovers. Sollux seems to catch on and gestures to the table.

"You hungry?" he asks.

You wonder when Past Karkat last ate. "Yeah," you answer. "Sure."

It's the best grubsauce-and-noodles you've had in a while -- and probably the first non-alchemized meal you've eaten in years. The sauce is creamy and meaty all at once, and the noodles are actually tender, as if someone has bothered to properly cook them for the full cook time on the box rather than the usual half-assed couple of minutes on full heat.

You eat close to two portions, but Sollux stops you from taking any more, sending a meaningful look to the few trolls hanging about. When you ask him why he even cares, he shrugs and mumbles something about disgruntled cooks. He doesn't really enforce it, though -- he's too busy keeping up with the memo while you eat.

You find yourself jolted from your delicious reverie when Sollux looks up from his beetlephone and curses loudly.

"What the hell is it?" you demand.

He mutters a few more choice words, then clarifies. "Some blueblood asshole."

You set down your eating implements and look over his shoulder. "Let me see."

"Get your own damn husktop."

"Fine."

===========================================================================

arachnidsGrip [AG] joined the memo

AG: Heeeeeeeey........  
AG: Would you look at this!  
AG: What do we have here?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm having some computer complications right now, so the next chapter may not be out for quite a while. In the meantime, have this one to enjoy.


	3. Chat

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The joys of communication.

You growl at the screen, gritting your teeth. Of course she showed up. Of _course_ she did.

Though nothing will ever top the mass vehicle derailment of conversations and intense recap-fueled aggravation that was the Fruity Rumpuss memos (Rainbow Partytown and Asshole Factory, respectively), any memo involving a Serket is almost guaranteed to be an excercise in frustration. The fact that half the potential participants are alternate-universe amnesiacs just makes everything weirder. God, why does you life have to be so fucked up in such ridiculous sounding ways?

You look back to the memo to try and keep up with the quick-scrolling mess of text.

GC: OH MY GOD   
GC: L1ST3N, TH1S 1S NOT SOM3 DUMB4SS LOS3R P4RTY H3R3   
GA: Are You Sure   
GA: I Mean Most Of Us Are All Sort Of Just Rushing About Like Headless Cluckbeasts So Far   
GC: OK4Y, M4YB3 W3 4R3, BUT TH4T'S NOT TH3 PO1NT.   
AG: The point 8eing?   
AG: Seriously, what is this shit?   
TA: good luck gettiing an an2wer   
TA: not   
AG: Oh, shut it.   
AG: Who the hell are you guys?   
AG: Also, jeez, who even USES memos?   
AG: I don't think I've been on one of these since I was five!   
GA: Is It Just Me   
GA: Or Does She Appear To Be   
GA: For Lack Of Better Phrasing   
GA: Not Our Vriska   
AG: W8 a second.   
AG: What the fuck????????   
AG: How do you even know me?   
TA: youd thiink ii diidn't ju2t a2k that fiive miinute2 ago   
AG: Please don't tell me you're some dum8ass FLARPers out to avenge your fallen comr8des or something.   
AG: I'm so over that.   
TA: do any of you chumps even 2croll up and reread the2e thing2 or do you all ju2t a2k agaiin to fiill up more 2pace on the 2creen   
AA: well good, since i am too!   
AG: Do I know you?   
AA: sort of!   
AG: That was a joke.   
TA: you guy2 dont even know there2 a 2croll bar do you   
GC: OK4Y, L1STEN, W3'R3 4LL OV3R TH1S STUFF   
GC: 1T W4S SW33PS 4GO!   
TA: 2ome programmer 2laved away over the2e feature2 and youre ju2t 2quandering them   
GC: SOLLUX   
GC: NOBODY C4R3S   
TA: ii do   
TA: ii mean   
TA: the redundancy here ii2 iincrediibly 2tupiid   
AG: Yeah, well, I just want some fucking answers!!!!!!!!!   
AG: Is that really such a 8ig favor to ask?   
TA: what diid ii JU2T 2AY   
TA: 2CROLL UP DAMMIIT   
AG: I 8n't t8king orders from you!   
GC: SHUT UP!   
GC: VR1SK4, SOLLUX 1S R1GHT.   
GC: 1F YOU W4NT 4 R3C4P, YOU WOULD DO W3LL TO JUST SCROLL UP SO 1 DON'T H4V3 TO R3P34T 3V3RYTH1NG.   
AG: Uuuuuuuugh.   
GA: Just Do It Alright   
GA: Unless You Want Me To Intervene As Well   
AG: How many of you guys are there?   
GA: Less Chatting More Reading   
GA: Then You May Ask More Questions If You So Desire   
GA: I Suppose As The Few Non Amnesiacs We Are Somewhat Obligated To Explain What Is Going On Here Arent We

carcinoGeneticist [CG] began responding to the memo 

CG: WELL THIS ISN'T UTTERLY IDIOTIC   
GA: Hello To You Too Karkat   
GA: Am I To Interpret Your Comment Here As Sarcastic Or Do You Genuinely Assume This To Be Semi-Intelligent Discourse   
CG: WHAT DO YOU THINK?   
GA: I Dont Know   
GA: Perhaps The Latter   
CG: YOU'RE JOKING, RIGHT?   
GA: I Dont Quite Understand What You Mean   
CG: HOLY SHIT   
CG: HOW DO YOU EVEN DO THAT?   
GA: Im Not Sure Really   
GA: I Just Type   
GC: N1C3 ON3 K4N4Y4   
CG: WAIT, YOU WERE JUST MESSING WITH ME AFTER ALL?   
GA: Of Course Not   
GA: Why Would I Do Anything Like That   
GA: I Can Hardly Imagine What Could Possibly Motivate Such Amusing Insincerity   
CG: WHAT EVEN   
CG: I HONESTLY CAN'T TELL IF YOU'RE FUCKING WITH ME OR NOT RIGHT NOW.   
GA: Neither Can I   
AA: haha, she got you good there!   
GC: 4LR1GHT GUYS, COM3 ON   
GC: VR1SK4 W1LL PROB4BLY F1N1SH R34D1NG 4NY M1NUT3 NOW 4ND CH4NC3S 4R3 SH3'LL ST1LL H4V3 MOR3 QU3ST1ONS   
TA: 2ame here tbh   
GC: 4ND W3 ST1LL H4V3N'T H34RD B4CK FROM SOM3 OF TH3 OTH3RS   
GC: SO 4S FUN 4S 1T 1S TO S33 K4RKL3S R1L3D UP....   
CG: IT'S NOT THAT FUNNY   
GC: ... C4N W3 PL34S3 K33P TH3 CONFUS1NG B4NT3R TO 4 M1N1MUM?   
GA: I Suppose So   
CG: FINE   
AG: So hey guys, I finished reading.   
GA: Already?   
TA: it2 been liike fiive miinute2 kn   
TA: we haven't been chattiing that long really   
AG: See!   
AG: Anyway, as you mentioned, I've got some serious questions.   
AG: Like, for my first question...   
AG: Are you guys cultists?   
GC: NO   
TA: no   
CG: NO   
AA: no   
CG: OH JESUS FUCK WE JUST DID HIS TYPING THING   
GC: UGH Y34H 1 JUST NOT1C3D   
GA: Shudders Slightly In Unfond Remembrance   
AG: Wow, weirdos.   
AG: You're all sure?   
GC: UH, Y3S. DUH.   
AG: Looooooook, ancestors and all that, I can 8uy. 8ut past lives?   
AG: Sounds like a load of 8ullshit to me.

You have to say, you don't entirely blame her. Except you don't, because occasionally, you know when to shut your mouth -- unlike certain assholes you could mention. Also, you're too busy thinking about the unpleasant memories those last few lines of chat brought up. Shuddering is an understatement. 

Come to think of it, you haven't actually heard from him since the game ended. It's difficult to say if that's a good thing or a bad thing, though. You lean more on the bad side.

At least when he sent death threats, you knew whether or not to panic. Now, you have nothing. Given the differences... he's probably alive somewhere, but the last thing you want to do right now is think about where. Assuming he isn't dead (from what you heard back in the dream bubbles, he never is, regardless of timeline), he's probably off in his hive polishing his own bulge with sopor slime or whatever it is stoned murderclowns do in their spare time. Fuck, you're pretty sure Terezi had some theory going, but you don't remember it right now at all, and Vriska won't quit pissing everyone off. 

CG: ARE YOU JUST GOING TO SPEND THIS ENTIRE MEMO SPEWING CLUELESS AND INSULTING QUESTIONS AT US ALL, OR ARE YOU ACTUALLY GOING TO START FIGURING THINGS OUT?   
CG: BECAUSE IF YOU FAIL TO TRANSITION FROM THE FORMER TO THE LATTER WITHIN THE NEXT FIVE MINUTES   
CG: *SO HELP ME*   
AG: You'll what?   
AG: Work yourself into a frothing fit and scream death threats from your lusus's basement?   
CG: BECAUSE SHARING A DECREPIT CORPSE-SCENTED CASTLE WITH A GIANT GODDAMN SPIDER IS SO MUCH BETTER.   
AG: 8etter than a 8asement!   
AG: W8.   
AG: How do you know my lusus?   
AG: W8 shit D8L8T8   
GA: Date Late Tate   
GA: I Do Not Understand   
AG: Just   
AG: I   
AG: F8ck y8u, ok8y?   
CG: YEAH, WELL FUCK YOU TOO.   
CG: I KNOW ABOUT YOUR LUSUS, BIG DEAL.   
CG: WE ALL KNOW ABOUT YOUR STUPID OLD BITCH OF A LUSUS.   
CG: ENOUGH TO KNOW THAT CALLING HER A STUPID OLD BITCH ISN'T NECESSARILY IN TERRIBLE TASTE SINCE YOU'VE CALLED HER THAT YOURSELF.   
AG: This is dum8.   
AG: I mean, this proves nothing.   
AG: Hell, anyone with decent research skills could have put the pieces together in eight seconds flat.   
AG: My lusus is kinda infamous in flarping circles.   
GC: R34LLY?   
GC: 1S TH4T B3C4US3 1T'S YOURS, OR B3C4US3 1T 34TS TROLLS?   
AG:   
AG: Seriously, why the fuck would I know you?   
GC: T34M SCOURG3?   
AA: can we please not bring that up if we can avoid it?   
AG: You dum8asses haven't even told me your n8mes, and you're asking a8bout that?   
AG: Jeeeeeeeez.   
GC: SO 1T 1S F4M1L14R TH3N?   
AG: I dunno.   
GC: YOU DON'T KNOW?   
AG: I've 8een on a lot of flarping teams, okay!   
AG: You can't possi8ly expect me to remem8er every single one.   
GA: You Know What This Is Getting A Bit More Personal Than I Would Like   
GA: And Ive Dealt With Enough Of This Feud For One Lifetime   
GA: If You Find Yourselves Needing A Moderator Contact Me Directly But In The Meantime I Think I Will Be Stepping Out For Now   
GA: If You Dont Mind That Is   
TA: yeah whatever   
TA: ii don't thiink anyone miind2   
AA: i'll let you know if things go wrong, okay?

grimAuxiliatrix [GA] is now idle

  
CG: WELL, THERE GOES THE LAST BASTION OF SANITY IN THIS CONVERSATION.   
AA: oh, no need to be so dramatic!   
AA: the rest of us are still here.   
AA: 0u0   
AG: That looks stupid.   
AA: t0u0t   
AG: >::::I

grimAuxiliatrix [GA] is no longer idle

  
GC: B4CK SO SOON?   
AG: What was she doing again?   
GA: Well   
GA: I Was About To Go Outside   
GA: It Did Not Go As Planned Though   
GA: It Seems I Have Our Explanation For Why Nepeta Did Not Respond To The Memo   
GA: She Is Quip'jmsdnk;jakn   
GA: ;alkjsheeeeeeeee   
AA: kanaya?   
GA: eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee   
CG: KANAYA?   
AG: What, did Miss Prim and Proper have an aneurysm over the sheer unfashiona8leness of her vis8tor?   
GA: eeeeeeeeeee   
GC: 4ND YOU KN3W 4BOUT H3R F4SH1ON TH1NG HOW 3X4CTLY?   
AG: Ummmmmmmm   
GC: NORM4L CH4T. NOW.   
AG: Oh hell no.   
GA: alkjsewwwwwwwwwwwwlkhfalwwwwwwwwwww   
GC: OH H3LL Y3S.   
GA: aswwwwwwwwewwwwwwwwwweeeeeeeewwwwwwwwwwweeeeeeeee   
GC: COM3 ON.   
GC: 1T'LL PROB4BLY B3 34S13R W1TH YOU TH4N 4LL OF US TRY1NG TO 3XPL41N 4T ONC3.   
AG: Ughhhhhhhh.   
GC: T3N M1NUT3S.   
GC: YOU 4LR34DY H4V3 SOM3 M3MOR13S, 3V3N 1F YOU WON'T 4GCNOWLEDGE TH3M.   
GC: D3NY1NG TH3M 1SN'T G3TT1NG YOU 4NYWH3R3.   
GC: 1N TH3 3ND, 1F 1 F41L, 4LL 1'M DO1NG 1S W4ST1NG 4 F3W M1NUT3S OF YOUR T1M3.   
GC: WH4T DO YOU S4Y?   
AG: Fine.   
AG: Ten minutes.

arachnidsGrip [AG] has left the memo

gallowsGalibrator [GC] has left the memo 

GA: Soorry eECVENRY BODY I   
CG: WHAT THE FUCK KANAYA   
CG: ARE YOU INTOXICATED LIKE LALONDE OR SOMETHING?   
CG: IS THAT EVEN YOU TYPING?   
GA: sOMEWHAT   
GA: dARN iT wRONG wAY   
GA: nEPETA   
CG: SOMEWHAT?   
GA: AJKLFEIUWU   
GA: Wont Stop   
GA: Pressing Th   
GA: e   
GA: Enter   
GA: Key   
GA: (And Everything El   
GA: se)   
TA: ehehehehehehehehehehe   
AA: hey, at least we know where she is now!   
GA: Shes Fasc   
GA: inated By My H   
GA: usktop Rig   
GA: ht Now   
GA:   
CG: OKAY. GOT IT.   
GA:   
GA:   
GA:   
TA: jeez   
TA: really?   
CG: HELLO? KANAYA?   
GA: Ah Much Better   
GA: Ive Convinced Her To Stay Off My Keyboard For Now I Think   
GA: Shes A Bit Hard To Understand With All That Growling And Feline Body Language   
GA: To Be Honest I Am Not Entirely Sure If She Speaks Standard Alternian Or Not Since She Has Yet To Say A Word In My Presence And Does Not Seem To Understand The Purpose Of My Husktop Or This Memo   
GA: Though I May Simply Be Mistaking Laconic Behavior And Illiteracy For Outright Lack Of Language   
GA: It Does Leave Many Questions All The Same   
GA: None Of Which I Can Guarantee She Will Answer   
CG: WELL, YOU FOUND HER. THAT'S GOOD, RIGHT?   
TA: riight 2o who2 np agaiin   
CG: NEPETA?   
TA: yeah whatever   
TA: ii got the name, but not the troll   
CG: ARSENIC CATNIP   
CG: YOU KNOW...   
CG: BLOOD-SPATTERED INSANE CAVETROLL, HAS THIS CREEPY HORSEFUCKER MOIRAIL   
CG: HUNTS SMALL ANIMALS FOR FUN   
CG: LIKES PURRBEASTS AND ROLEPLAYING AND SHIPPING   
TA: you know ii wa2 almo2t iintiimiidated before you got two the biit about roleplayiing   
CG: UH.   
CG: YEAH.   
CG: ANYWAY.   
GA: I See Vriska Has Left The Memo   
GA: Ill Assume It Was For A For Good Reason But Please Correct Me If Thats Wrong   
TA: tz dragged her off iinto a priivate conver2atiion   
GA: Right Then   
GA: Also   
GA: A Question   
GA: Has Anyone Else Noticed That Our Backgrounds And Stories Seem To Dramatically Differ And Diverge From Our Original Histories In This New Setting   
GA: And That At Least Some Of Us Seem To Have Rather Unsettling Pasts Even Taking Into Account The Nature Of Alternian Life   
GA: For Example   
GA: Multiple Chatlogs Expressing Rebellious Sentiment   
GA: Or   
GA: Stolen Possessions   
GA: Or   
GA: Weapons One Does Not Remember Possessing And Certainly Does Not Recognize Now   
CG: DO MYSTERIOUS BLOODSTAINS ON THE FLOOR COUNT?   
CG: OR ARE THOSE JUST 'THE NATURE OF ALTERNIAN LIFE'?   
GA: Maybe   
GA: Am I To Assume This Is A Thing You Found   
GA: Likely In Your Own Hive   
CG: PRETTY MUCH.   
GA: Well   
GA: I Cant Say Im All That Surprised   
GA: My Hive Doesnt Seem Much Better   
GA: Im Used To Daywalker Corpses But There Are Far More Than Usual   
GA: And Not All Of Them Look Like Daywalkers   
TA: whoa waiit what   
GA: Some Of Them Resemble Uninfected Highbloods Upon Further Inspection   
GA: With   
GA: Er   
GA: Holes In Them   
CG: HOW BIG?   
CG: JEGUS FUCK KANAYA, DID OTHER-YOU GO RAINBOWDRINKER TOO?   
GA: Um   
GA: Maybe   
GA: The Holes Are The Right Size To Be Tooth Marks At Least   
GA: Nepeta Wouldnt Touch The Bodies For Whatever Reason   
GA: And Earlier She Hissed At One   
TA: look ii don't know what that'2 2uppo2ed two mean but   
TA: raiinbow driinker2?   
TA: are you fuckiing kiidiing me.   
GA: No   
TA: ...   
TA: great, exactly what ii needed after all thii2.   
TA: what next, ance2tor2 are real two?

At this point, you turn around, tap Sollux on the shoulder, look him directly in the eyes, and say, 'Yeah. Pretty fucking much.' 

Now that you think about it, it feels more than a little pointlessly stupid to be conversing with him via chat when you're standing right the fuck next to him. 

Sollux stares back, unblinking for several seconds. You resist the urge to squirm and instead continue staring back with the determination of the last troll alive fighting the oncoming waves of 'seriously, why the fuck are we even doing this anyway?'

At last, Sollux groans and rubs the bridge of his nose with a sigh, knocking his tinted glasses askew. He grumbles something you can't make out, then returns his focus to the memo. The memo text continues to stream by in a waterfall of rainbow colors, a metaphor which sounds increasingly morbid the longer you think about it, and also oddly familiar in a deja-vu sort of way. 

TA: (al2o ii refu2e two beliieve vk wa2 actually riight about that ance2tor bull2hiit)   
TA: (2eriiou2ly wtf)   
CG: THAT ANNOYS ALL OF US.   
CG: DEAL WITH IT.   
TA: anyway   
TA: kn   
TA: you 2aiid 2omethiing about   
TA: 'rebelliiou2 2entiiment'?   
GA: Well Not With Those Exact Alterations In The Letters   
GA: But Yes Rebellious Sentiment   
TA: ju2t giive me a few miinute2   
GA: What Are You Doing

twinArmageddons [TA] left the memo

GA: Karkat Youre With Him Right   
GA: What Is He Doing

Sollux appears to be busy fiddling with his beetlephone, churning out code on the touch interface with his psionics. The text -- it looks like code, and you really fucking hope it's not ~ATH because why would he be doing anything right now that requires ~ATH? -- writes itself across the screen in a black-and-white-and-red-and-blue blur, too quick to read.

You push aside the empty plate of grubnoodles and stand up to sneak a peek over his shoulder, but he scowls and angles the screen away from you.

  
CG: WRITING SOME CODE, I GUESS   
CG: HE WOULDN'T LET ME SEE IT.   
CG: I SUSPECT I'LL ACTUALLY HAVE TO ASK HIM WITH WORDS NEXT.

"Sollux," you hiss, "what the fuck are you making over there?!"

Sollux glances up at you just long enough to acknowledge your question. 

"Private room. No thpies. Theriouthly, dude. We're not chatting about rebellious thentimentth out in the open. Or at leatht I'm not." He frowns and pauses, psionic light skittering over the screen in a flurry of corrections as if your brief exchange had been enough to cause errors in his speedtyped code.

"You just said that out loud, therefore that's exactly what we're doing, asshole." you whisper back. True, he had been a little quieter, but not enough to count as secretive.

"Let me finish the damn thing, and then we can argue -- in private, where no one elthe can or hath to hear your bullshit whining," he insists, resuming his original typing speed. "Just wait until there'th actually a place to thtuff it."

You sit down again, returning to your husktop.

"Well... fine." It takes you a second to get the words out, but you pull it off nonetheless. "Thanks."

===========================================================================

Somewhere far away, though you are currently oblivious to it, something stirs in the depths. She is one of the most powerful specimens of your kind. She is skilled with weapons, carries an alliance with a being beyond description or comprehension, and practically eats puns for breakfast.

She doesn't quite remember how a trollian memo works , and hasn't used this handle in ages, but shore is excited by this shiny digital invitation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kinda hot-off-presses, but I've been writing this for a while, so... hopefully fine. Also, minor edits! Sorry for the confusion.
> 
> Also, I figured out a way to streamline the process of writing pesterlogs by using the find+replace tool on my word processor to insert the HTML tags. Yay!


End file.
